I am so sorry to say that I won't be attending your upcoming reunion festivities. You see, my husband has been insistent that I develop the perfect gluten-free pizza recipe so that he can make his millions marketing it to local establishments. Boy, have we eaten a lot of pizza! What does this have to do with my attendance, you ask? Well, I am no longer able to button my skinny jeans, and as we all know, this is the reason we attend these types of events, right? I am still certain that my children are the most adorable and gifted, and my husband the hottest of all the competitors, but that is meaningless if I don't look better now than I did in high school.